The Charismatic Confidence of Tommy Shelby: 8 Habits to Command Respect
People love Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders. He’s a quiet, introverted character who is also extremely charismatic. While you might not want to emulate Tommy in every way, there are eight habits you can learn from him to instantly command more respect from those around you. Despite Peaky Blinders being a scripted TV show, all the psychology covered in this article will apply to your actual life.
1. Slow, Relaxed Movements
Tommy Shelby never seems rushed, except when he’s physically fighting. This unhurried demeanor gives the impression that he is above feeling intimidated. For example, notice how slowly Tommy moves in the following scene, and how it instantly gives you the sense that he’s not easily rattled.
2. Comfortable Eye Contact
Tommy holds eye contact even during conflict, signaling confidence and assertiveness. However, it’s essential to use this habit wisely. Constantly holding eye contact can escalate tension if neither party is willing to break it. The goal isn’t to never break eye contact but to understand what your behavior signals. Hold eye contact to show you aren’t intimidated, look down to de-escalate, or break to the side to diffuse without showing fear or discomfort.
3. Non-Reactivity to Hostility
Tommy’s ability to command respect in moments of conflict comes from his non-reactivity to hostility. Being non-reactive shows that you feel confident in your ability to handle whatever is happening. It’s hard not to respect someone who keeps their cool in situations where most people would lose it.
4. Research and Preparation
Tommy’s confidence often stems from his thorough research and preparation. Knowing details about his adversaries allows him to stay calm and non-reactive. For example, he remains unflustered even when a gun is pointed at his head because he already knows critical information about his enemies.
5. Scale Hand Gestures
To command attention in large groups, Tommy scales his hand gestures. Larger gestures can help you appear more confident and can captivate a larger audience.
6. Speak with Conviction
Tommy’s word choice and tone when speaking show conviction. He doesn’t say “I hope to” or “I want to,” but rather “I will.” This confidence in his plans is mirrored in his tone, which ends in a downward inflection, making statements sound more assertive.
7. Slow Speaking Cadence and Strategic Pauses
Tommy speaks slowly and uses pauses to hold attention. Pausing when people most want to hear what you have to say can pull them in further. This slow cadence conveys confidence and control over the conversation.
8. Leverage Carrot and Stick Motivation
Tommy wields tremendous power by understanding what others desperately want or fear. This gives his quiet words significant weight. For example, in negotiations, instead of simply asking for a raise, work with your boss to create a list of achievements required for a promotion. Show that you have other job offers to demonstrate your value, using both the carrot (potential value you can add) and the stick (the possibility of leaving for a better offer).
Building Genuine Confidence
While these habits can help project confidence, the goal is to cultivate genuine internal confidence. Programs like Charisma University can significantly boost your confidence and charisma in just a few weeks. Former members have reported notable improvements in their social skills, self-esteem, and professional success.
Final Thoughts
Tommy Shelby’s charisma and confidence can be distilled into actionable habits that anyone can adopt. By moving slowly, holding eye contact appropriately, staying non-reactive, being well-prepared, scaling hand gestures, speaking with conviction, using a slow cadence, and leveraging carrot and stick motivation, you can command more respect and influence those around you effectively.
